yes, then no, then yes, then no, then a burrito

we were going, then we weren't. then we were again, 
then we weren't again. now not only are we not going, 
he's not coming over. it's so cold outside. it's supposed 
to get colder by morning. there's a huge half an orange 
moon outside my bedroom window. everything is making 
me cry lately. i cry when my clothes are too tight. i cry 
watching the news. i cry watching movies. there is no 
reason for me to be this emotional, but i am anyway.

walking in the front door after checking the mailbox, i am 
overwhelmed all over by how sweet my little yellow house is. 
it is warm and cozy. it feels safe. sometimes i even forget to 
lock the doors. that's so stupid, i know. you'd think i'd have 
learned my lesson with locking doors. i have even come home 
from work in the morning and left my keys in the door and gone 
to bed, slept all day, and only discovered the keys in the lock 
when i had to go out again. 

i was craving Nachos Belgrande so i went to Taco Bell. 
"i'm sorry, ma'am, but we're all out of chips." what the fuck??? 
how can Taco Bell be out of taco chips?? 

i got a burrito instead. and a Frosty from Wendy's. 

maybe i should have gone out tonight, but all i 
want to do is stay home and listen to the song 
"Beautiful" over and over.

it was beautiful at first. 

i'm lord and bonely.


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