Who Are Your Friends?


are they the ones who stick up for you?
who fight for you?
who defend you to the bitter end?

what do you demand of a friendship?

unfailing loyalty?

pure devotion?

my friends are the people i choose to let
into my heart. the ones whose cries i can
hear in my sleep, whom i hold in my thoughts.

you'll laugh, but sometimes my friends don't
know they're my friends. they're people who've
said nothing to me, but in watching them interact
with other people, i say, "i will get to know you
better. i will trust you." and then i try to slowly
approach--a word here, a hug there. a quick
reply, if i'm able, to an email.

i've made many friends that way.

i want for my friends what i want for me:

room to grow. room to be different. room to
let me make my own choices and my own decisions,
and respect for those things. room to make mistakes.

i don't want them to fight for me. i don't want unfailing
loyalty, because when i screw up, who will tell me the
truth? who will say to me, "you're too close, please
step back and take a deep breath."

i don't want pure devotion, either. i have no right to
ask that of anyone.

i am so blessed by the friends i have both here and in
my offline life.

friends are the family we choose for ourselves.

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