White Noise And Three-Wicked Candles

 

it's quiet and dark here. glenn is gone for the next
night or two and i'm alone.

i like it.

there's no music on, no television blaring. the house
is clean and in order and i'm in my nightgown and robe
and i am sucking up the quiet like a sponge.

i bought a big candle today. i had one like it on top of
my television in Missouri. this one is supposed to smell
like the ocean, but all i smell is wood smoke.
i've been smelling it for a couple of days now. there's
no wood on fire, but the odor is in the house. or maybe
it's in me. glenn says he doesn't smell it.

you walk along, mostly not paying attention to your life,
and you trip over ruts in the path and you get really tired
climbing the hills more often than you get to glide down
them and it seems you're going no where fast. but you're
in motion. you're moving. it just seems we make it so
incredibly complicated most of the time when it's really
very simple.

take care of yourself.
take care of those you love.
take a minute to put out instead
of just taking in.

that's all.

and "take care" doesn't have to mean that co dependent
stuff, you know. you can "take care" of someone without
taking total responsibility for their lives...unless they're
you're child.

i have to remind myself to look up and outwards. i tend to
plod along with my eyes down, thinking too much.

do something for someone you love.
do something for yourself.

if you can find something that does both of those things at the
same time, consider yourself a very lucky human being.

i'm just doing what i do best right now. i'm sitting in the dark
and putting down the stuff flying around inside me.

if it makes no sense, forgive me.

if it's wrong, tell me.

denise

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