Whispers, Too

 

he talks to me over
miles of cable and
oceans of other people's
sounds. soothing words
that balm my soul, puts
me at peace.

his spark is hot and glowing
and i can't help but catch
the fire, he fans the flames
so sweetly with just the right
words, just the right tone.

he is a promise kept to me
made by God on a night when
death was pushing its way
inside my head and i lay,
flat out on the floor on
my stomach, my arms flung
out from my sides and my
hands clenched into fists
trying to fight the madness
and not succeeding until i
finally whispered,

"please, god, if you have
someone out there for me,
send him soon or i'm not
going to make it."

well, it took a while and
i was impatient, as i mostly
am, and i didn't recognize
god's hand in our meeting
until months after the fact,
as is often the case.

but one day i was looking at
him, this man sent to me, and
i heard god's still, small voice
whisper,

"he needs you. you need him.
with him you will heal. with
him you will grow. and it
might not be forever, it
might just be for now, but
here he is. and i've filled
him with enough love for you
to last his whole life through.
be gentle with his weary soul
for there was a time when he
laid, flat out on the floor,
his arms flung out from his
sides, his hands clenched into
fists and cried out, 'please,
if you have someone out there
for me, send her soon or i will
be lost.' and though he didn't
speak My name, it was Me he
was asking. find joy together.
rest in each other. for i
love you both."

i cried then. i believe in the
existence of god. i feel him
all around me. but i was sure
he hadn't heard me until that
night.

and it may not be forever, it
might just be for now, but i
heal day by day and we grow
together and he is every promise
made to me and then broken
by someone else that has now
been kept. he soothes me and
balms my soul, gives me peace.

thank you, god, again.

denise

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