What I Believe


one of the goals of life, one of the things that makes this
too-hard life bearable sometimes, is to find one thing that
you can love your whole life. i used to think it was a person,
that i needed just one person to stand beside me and face
with me the trials and the joys of life, and for 22 years i had
that, but the older i get, the more i come to understand that
everything is temporary, everything changes and ends at
some point, so if it's not a person to love, it can be a thing.
like sailing or reading or walks or places, just something
that you can take with you when you finally journey out of
this life and into the thing that comes after this.

and i don't believe life ends when our hearts stop. i think
there is a part of us that lives forever somewhere. some place
where it's quiet and peaceful, where we have the time and the
knowledge that we didn't have here on earth to look at our lives
and make sense of the senseless things.

and i used to think that marriage was the way to go, but i don't
believe that anymore. i don't believe you have to stand up in
front of someone and have them make your bond official. i think
it's something that you decide when you're with the person, some
sort of a "i'm here in this with you for this moment for as long as
the moment lasts," kind of thing.

and i believe that there are pieces of me that have lodged in other
people and made them more and less than what they were before
they met me, for how can it not be that way when there are pieces
of people inside of me that have done the same thing?

ok, so i have too much time on my hands and i think too much.


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