this is what depression is

 

it's a feeling that there is nothing
to look forward to, nothing to stay
alive for, nothing to be. it's dull day
after dull day with flat feelings and
gray skies in the middle of the brightest
morning when the sky is really quite
blue and clear.

it's hopelessness and aching, wrenching
pain and dullness. it's a lack of feeling
or it's 10 thousand feelings all rolled into
one so you can't isolate one feeling and
say it's this or it's that that's making you
feel this way.

it's waking up and lying in bed and not
being able to find a good enough reason
to get up and get dressed and join the
human race. it's "whatever," and "i don't
care," and "so what?" and "oh well," as
you watch people leave and jobs slip away
and it's dull eyes that have forgotten, if they
ever knew, what joy feels like, facial muscles
slack and it's just not giving a damn.

denise

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