i stayed up all night to see the sunrise, though
it will anger glenn, i'm sure. but i need to see
this one. i need to feel the sun's rays on my
face this morning, stealing with light the darkness
of the night. i want to start this day new and
fresh. i want to air old wounds, let the sun's
love draw the poison from them. i want to
remember the feeling i had one year ago this
month when i pulled into this town, eager to
start fresh and ready to find my way out of the
blackness that had pinned my spirit to the ground.

it's just about 5 now and i had to go to the store for
another pack of smokes.

"you smoke too much," clay said to me yesterday.
"you're killing yourself."

"that's the plan, man. that's the plan."

i have been waiting for this sunrise since 9 yesterday
morning when i woke up. i need to see this sun on
this day. then i will write a letter and send it instantly
across oceans and time and try to find my way again.


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