raining here. i can't sleep. hard to sleep
most nights, some nights worse than others.
i am able now to get through the days as i
have made my decision and told glenn, though
not his mom or daughter. i will need to do
that. i do not want to.

amazing how i keep getting my solitary life
entangled in the lives of others. i don't
like that.

this dream i'm trying to build won't include
anyone living with me. visiting, maybe,
but not living with me. i want rooms empty
of echoes except for my own or music. i'm
going to find a new place to rent until i
can find a house in the mountains i can afford.
i only need a little house. 2 bedrooms, maybe.

with a wide front porch for a rocker and a
swing hanging from hooks in the roof. wide,
long steps leading up to it, and at each end
of each step will be a flowering plant of
some kind.

i will get up every day and go to work. i will
cook for myself, hang clothes out on the line
to dry, mess in the garden when the heat lets
go of the day.

i will have a moon garden filled with white flowering
plants close to the house and someday it will hold
a bench to dream away summer nights on.

and on nights like this, when i can't sleep and it's
raining, i will sit on the porch and feel the earth


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