Something

 

just something stupid i said
back then when i was a different
person in a different world,
not this place i am now, which
is better than that place but
worse than the place before.

just stupid words that connected
themselves into sentences
that had no meaning
that went nowhere, to no one,
they did nothing in a very big
way.

you can't see me through the hair
i use to veil my face, but i'm
red with embarrassment, cringing
and wishing i could become invisible
in an instant.

i did that once, you know.
i was invisible for a few glorious
hours back in the 70's with the
help of an herb that i inhaled
by accident. i sat on the couch
and smiled for hours as i watched
the world turn without me.

these days i want to do that but
without the aid of chemicals, but
my skin is too dense to attain the
required transparency necessary
to become unseen.

and then there's this stupid
see-through heart i have. i can't
play poker, i've tried. i can't
fall in love silently, gracefully.
i am too much

something.

denise

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