So Tell Me

 

why the fuck do i still read every single one of
your posts when I don't give a shit about you any
more? What keeps me here when I can't relate to
a single post that appears here? They're either
too "high-brow" or they're too silly.

I remember when this whole thing started and the
kind of posts there were here. I miss, idiot that
I am, the days when it was just Molly, Doug, b and
me. Then Crystal came along and wrote some stuff
that blew me away. Her stuff still does. Now
all of a sudden it's turned into a step-child of
alt.angst.

I didn't even mind the flames. A lot of times I
would provoke them on purpose because people in
other places were giving me too many compliments
and I was having that weird perverse thing going
on. Had to have the inside and the outside match.

Nowadays (is that one word? do I even care?)
I'm invisible.  I feel like I'm a hundred years old and a hundred
miles away from the person I was when I first started
posting here. It's been said that that which does
not kill us makes us stronger. I'm here to say
bullshit to that. That which does not kill us
only makes us wish we were dead.

denise
crying all my tears with the curtains drawn.

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