Silence First And Last

 

 

silence. alone in myself.
eyes peering out, curious,
frightened.

there. him. opening, flowering.
words flying around the room when
we were together, too fast sometimes.

"i was..." 
"then i..." 
"when i was 4..."
"i love you..."
"i, denise, take you..."
"i, Bruce, take you..." 
"i now pronounce you..."

years of sound. children crying.
soft, sweet, sighs in the dark.
high pitched giggling. Christmas
carols. auld lang syne on snowy
nights celebrated with wine and
friends. parties. happiness.
forever...

when did the sounds change? i
can't think. shouts. curses.
slamming doors. mommy crying.
daddy lying. toddlers grew,
it seemed, overnight into sometimes
angry young men. car doors slamming
as they left. motors revved too
fast. phones ringing with girls
on the other end. "can i talk to..."
"is Jason home..." soft, sweet
whispers as they find their own
ways out of their own silences, till
they're all gone and we are left
alone together...

"i love you, but i can't..." 
"i will always love you, but..." 
"i have to..." 
"goodbye..."

finally, silence. thick and tragic.
mistakes made. alone. inside myself.
eyes peering out, frightened. nothing there.

silence once again.

denise

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