like someone is calling my name. like someone wants
something from me. if i still lived with my family, i'd go
into the rooms of my sons and check to make sure they
were still asleep. there's something calling me. something
wants me. i close my eyes and hear the tiniest whisper of
my name, but not clearly enough so i know it *is* my name.
it could be anything.

we've talked about this before, how sometimes you hear
someone call your name just before you drift off to sleep,
but this feels different. like some psychic pull from another
world or something.

ugh. i hate this feeling. this is like almost knowing something,
it's right on the tip of your tongue, but you just can't get it.

maybe if i try this, typing with my eyes closed,
just letting the words come as they wish, not
worrying about spelling or punctuation, or grammar.
just words from my head, automatic and without too much
thought. what is it? what do you want from me? what
can i do?

nope, didn't work.


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