How Can It Be Possible

 

to feel this badly after
why do i feel as thought i've

i wanted to cry, but i'm all cried out,
i guess. i just sat there on the bed,
looking out the window, wondering
why it's this way sometimes.

it is amazing to me what the human
soul will bear.

"i'll be back once the benadryl kicks in,"
i told him, and i almost ran trying to escape.

song in my head, headphones as loud as
they will go, speakers off. drown out the
doubt and the dismay.

"this is your life now. how do you like it so
far?"

see, i know i've lost it. there was a part of me
that was touched so deeply, like living flesh
upon my soul, touched and then destroyed.
now where i should feel that touch again, all
i feel is empty.

you can heal your body. you can rub fine oils
into your skin and paint the circles under your
eyes a convincing shade of flesh tone, but you
can't undo the damage done to a soul that's
been turned into an object of scorn.

and i know just as surely as i know my name,
as surely as the sun that is watching the world
spin, waiting for the moment to shine again, that
if i were to go back in there he would hold me
and tell me again how much he loves me.

and that's the very last thing i want to hear.

denise

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