It's Just A Feeling

 

it's when i feel dead inside that i worry.
but then i don't care anymore. they
come closer together. faster and faster,
less time in between. like birthing pains,
only they're more like dying pains.

and i'm only fooling myself by feeling
there are ropes attached to my life.
there is nothing connecting me to
life. nothing. sometimes i feel like
a purple balloon floating away from
the grasping hand of some child.
the child cries, but i, the balloon,
laugh and sing with joy at the freedom.

"it's just the day," i tell myself. "just this
car that passed me today, this song i
heard on the radio, those kids i saw
all dressed up in their baseball uniforms
that is making me feel this way."

look forward, angel.

but the angels flew off and left
me here to find my own way,
thinking i was able to do that.

they were wrong.

denise

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