In The Air Around My Head

 

are all the mistakes i've made,
from the very first one i can
remember making, to the latest
one.

and i can swat at them, try and
clear them from the air, but it
won't work. i know that, but still
i swat, just so i can feel i'm doing
something.

i've been trying most of the night to
put words to music, but the words are
flat and stale, or they're perfect
except for one or two things which
keeps them from perfection.

do i really need perfect words?
isn't there more beauty in the
imperfection? more variation,
more imagination?

"move on," a lady kept saying on
the Oprah show, like it was easy
to do that. she'd raise her eyebrow
and say smugly, "move on. it's over
and done and can't be undone." that
was my lesson for the day, i think.

well, i'm really sure that's my lesson
for today, because there is beauty in
letting go. there is a power, an
energy in it that paints you with the
colors of grace.

all these mistakes. i wish i could
recycle them somehow. they can't
be undone, they're there in the air
above my head. i wish i could gather
them all together and put a ribbon
around them, put them in a box and
take them out every once in a while
and look at them so i remember the
lessons i learned from them.

when glenn takes krys to school i will
take a shower and get ready to live this
new day. i'll make mistakes today. i
make mistakes every day. and some of them
will be the same mistakes i've made in the
past, and the air around my head will get
a little more crowded.

denise

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