"I Need Something


to hold on to."

i used to hold on to knives.
i used to hold on to people.
and i thought i was holding myself,
but i wasn't.

i was sure i had my arms wrapped
around myself. illusion. i was
holding nothing.

these days i learn more and more
about what it takes to keep myself
together, to keep myself safe. what
i need to hold on to, what to let go.

sleep is coming at me like a freight
train. soon i will let go of the
words, or rather, pry loose their
hold on me. i will turn off this
machine and this music, turn
off all the lights in my warm, safe
house and crawl into bed, away from
this day, away from those people,
and i will be left with only myself.

i will swim on currents of thought,
lose myself on the timeless, endless
ocean of dreams.

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