i've been dreaming about the past
in a dream i watched my ex-husband turn his back on me
and walk away. i woke up almost unbearably sad. his back
turned, walking away from me. that was him moving on, i guess.
i'm happy for him, but i'm sad for me. i didn't know he loved me,
i never felt it.
today i dreamed of Bill. he was sitting on my couch talking to me.
he looked relaxed. his hair was short. he talked of his life as it is
now. then he got in a car and drove away.
"Two loves," Deborah said. "I see two loves in your life but i'm not sure
if you've already had them or if they are still to come."
i'm sure. i've already had them.
last night a man who loves me shared himself with me.
we made each other happy, gave each other comfort,
then this morning he got up and kissed me goodbye.
i'm sad today.
this was written April 24, 2003.
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