i'm sorry i lost myself
time with no distraction, it seems i have lots and
lots of that. what do i do with all my time? i watch movies,
i stare out the window, i do laundry and dishes, but not much
of either because how much laundry and how many dishes
can one person dirty? yesterday i listened to a lot of music.
it felt good. so i'm doing it again today. and then a little while
ago Deborah and i danced around my room in our night gowns.
it was a...a moment in time.
yes, i used to know who and what i was. then i grew up and
realized that i don't know much about anything at all. it's scary.
i don't do well on the edge. i need to keep a great distance between
myself and the edge or i get anxious and irritable. losing parts of
myself, i try to fill the holes with things, but that will never work.
and i know that. or i know it as well as i know anything.
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