Some Things Hurt When You

 

brush up against them and you run and run,
but the pain just follows you.

some things feel like the end of time.

some things are.

i just right this minute want to stop time
and not let the days pass, not let the
days come and brush against
me with their sharp corners that rip
my heart open.

so i'm thinking i need this really big band aid,
cause i know my heart is going to bleed and
i'm going to have those pains again, the ones
in my soul that make me wish i had never been
born.

and there is no safe place to hide this time.
gotta stand right here and face it and get
past it, over it, around it, just *beyond* it,
out of its reach.

and i miss starry night skies. i miss looking
up and catching my breath when the northern
lights catch me by surprise.

i miss standing outside my car after i've come home
from someplace. it's dark. i hear the neighbors dog
bark a greeting at my arrival. i look up and there
are more stars than there are numbers and i feel
what i am; a part, not the center.

i miss sitting on the front deck and waving at
all the relatives as they drive up and down our
road.

i miss my roses. the Peace and the John F. Kennedy and
a million more that i won't name here.

i miss knowing every inch of Knapper's body.
the familiar smells and textures.

sometimes i'm afraid to close my eyes because
i am instantly back in places i left behind me with
the bridges burned.

some things hurt when you brush up against them,
and then you learn to steer clear of those things.

denise

 

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