He Said

 

"this, this is the woman i
know and love. this is
the woman i married, this
is the woman i could have
lived the rest of my life with,"

and he let her read my letter
to him.

well, she got so mad, she
left the house and chris said,
"they broke up, mom, cause
she was always running you
down because you just
abandoned us, she said,
and i guess she didn't
like reading and finding
out all that stuff about you
that we know and love."

chris said,

"they're back together now, though."

and he sounded sad, like he thought,
i guess, that his dad was inches away
from asking me to come back home
and finishing out the rest of our lives

with

holidays together and beaches in
the summer and cookouts on the
grill in the back yard on the deck
that we worked so very hard to
build together.

and in my letter i said,

"i love you more now than
at almost any time in our
lives together, and i know
you loved me in the very
best way you could."

i said,

"i want with all my heart for
you to find someone you
can love and who loves
you in the way you need
and deserve to be loved."

i said,

"all those years i waited and
waited for you to suddenly
become the man i needed
you to be and the other day
i had this thought, 'how long
did he wait for me to become
the woman he needed to me
to be?' and i'm sorry i couldn't
let you always be the strong
one. i'm sorry i couldn't be
what you needed me to be.
i'm sorry for all the times we
fought when you just needed
me to hold you, when you
just needed peace."

i will never love, i don't think,
anyone in that way again.

and i will never "wait" for a
man to be what i need him
to be for me again.

denise

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