Growing Up

 

i stayed up until 7 or so this morning playing
computer games with glenn and his friends.
we hook our computers together on LAN cards
and blast each other to bits. it's more fun than
it sounds. anyway, so we went to bed and i
woke up this morning feeling that it was very
important that i check my email. glenn was
getting up and had made the floorboards
creak and moan and that woke me or i would
have slept much longer.

"you're getting up now?" i asked.

"yeah, i can't sleep anymore. i thought i'd try and fly for
a bit."

i didn't say anything, just raced into this room and got
online. there was an email message and a post from
someone i know telling me she needed directions to
my house because her father was being flown down
here to Birmingham for a liver transplant. she wondered
if she could stay with me. i'm not far at all from UAB
where he'll be having the surgery. her father and
mother were being flown down from up north (somewhat
near Bob's old state) today. i considered this something
important. glenn did not. he changed his clothes, gathered
up his wallet and things.

"where are you going," i asked him.

"i'm going to go spend the day at the camp (his word
for home). it's obvious i won't be able to fly today."

we got into a "discussion" about him being online when i
needed to keep the phone line open so this woman could
call and get directions.

"ya know," he says after a couple of minutes of increasingly
irate comments, "i think i should pack up my computer and
take it home so i can fly. whenever you're up you want to
be on it and the only way i'll get to fly is if i go home."

"well, i think that if it is that important to you to fly you
should take your computer and go home."

calm, serene. didn't raise my voice or inflect sarcasm in the
obvious places. just, "go. whatever."

that really stunned him. he did leave for
the day and didn't come back until 8 this
evening, but before he left he went from this
simmering mass of resentment and anger to
someone trying to keep his dignity. gave me
a kiss, told me he loved me.


i'm really proud of myself for that. i'm glad i
didn't feel i had to give in to him to make him stay.
if he stays, he stays. if not, well, it was really
fun a lot of the time, glenn. thanks for being
in my life. take good care, k?

i do think i'm going to grow up after all.

denise

 

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