Gone And Sometimes Forgotten

 

when i let it,
and it is a
choice now, not
something i am
powerless against
as i once was, so
when i let it, it
eats me alive.

watching TV, a couple
with happy, shining
faces jump into a
lake, fully clothed,
holding hands.
i let that eat me
alive for about 10
seconds.

then i gathered my
self-esteem and said
out loud, "so what?
you were nothing but
trash. you used to
talk about running
old ladies down with
your car, hell, with
your girlfriend's car,
because you didn't have
one of your own. you
used to want to take me
to the park where the
homosexuals hung out
and have us taunt them
together. trash. that's
all you were, all you are,
and i'm well rid of you."

and sometimes i believe it.

denise

 

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