Don't Tell Me To Shut Up

 

don't tell me to shut up please please please.

i have to do this.

i have to do this.

i couldn't stop now if i wanted to.

and i don't want to. i want it out, over, behind me, not locked in
some stale, nasty room with the door nailed shut.

stuff left to rot behind closed doors leaks out and poisons
everything i touch.

i have to get it out, clean the room, open the windows, scrub the
floors with wordslikebleach. i'm new in those other groups and
i can't bring myself to write these things there.

i feel safe here most of the time. not everyone likes me, that's ok,
but there are people here who matter greatly to me and i know
if i start to fall, when the ghosts gnaw and gnaw and the poison
leaks out and i begin to spin and whirl, those people will reach
out their hands to me and steady me.

i will need that.

i would change it if i could.

but i will need those hands, those hearts.

cause i can't do this alone.

you know i would if i could.

please, please try and understand...

denise

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