Contrived Un-creation

you have crossed over into
the gray area between dream
and nightmare

you're no longer here
you're no longer there
and the land between
fear and joy rises up to
meet you like a promise
kept, like an unborn heart,
like an ingrown breath.

you're in every breeze,
in every thought,
in every choice,
in every thing

you're everywhere
and i hold my breath
to see if you will
break me again

on those times when
i wish not to be
and my soul has
been poorly used
and the scars on
my heart constrict
and allow no one in
allow no one out

i think about those
times when we were
a part of something
that made no sense,
that made no difference
that made no room for
anything else

and i don't wind the clock
don't count the hours
don't walk the floors
don't carry you around
with me like an empty jar
in my hands, held out
and waiting to be filled

i simply sit and listen to
the stir of echoes inside
me and i can only laugh
at how i was given
the signs and wantonly
and with malice aforethought
ignored them all

you were my choice
and i'd make it again.

denise

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