Came Home To A Cold, Empty House


mail. 140 messages and the
only thing i can see is Wendy's
message: "getting married this
weekend, small courthouse wedding.
Tim's the best thing that ever
happened to me."

when i was married and living in
amble, Wendy was my very best friend.
she just sat down at my table one
night at karaoke and told me she
was going to be my best friend.
and she was. we've known each other
for about 6 or 7 years now, which is
remarkable. i am a loner. i don't
like a lot of people in my life. i
like being lonely and sad. that's
kind of a joke, but kind of not.
i remember looking at her and saying
"oh, are you?" kind of smug and
superior. "yep." then she swept
me up into her life. i met her
alcoholic, abusive husband and her
two sweet children.

then from somewhere i got the courage
to leave my life, leave my home, travel
to a far-away state and try and start
a new life all alone. well, that wasn't
the plan, but that's how it worked out.
and while i was gone Wendy found the
courage to leave her husband, graduated
college and started a new life.

i think hers has worked out better.
i'm happy for her, of course, and
i wish with all my heart i could be
there, but i can't describe how very
sad i am. boo hoo. poor me. my glenn
is a lot like my ex-husband. her Tim
is nothing like her ex.

i'm trying to get rid of my glenn, she's
marrying her Tim.

and they lived happily ever after.

god, i hope so, Wendy. i want that
for you with all my heart.

i want it for me, too.

my house is empty and cold because it
was such a beautiful warm day yesterday
and i turned off my heat and then went to
work and it turned cold during the night.

i can turn the heat on, but how do i turn
off the empty?


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