Chocolate Hearts, Candy Kisses

 

made to be eaten. like a person can survive
on that kind of thing...NOT. it's the 25th
day of September and a very breezy and cool
day it is here in eastern Alabama. so why
am i dreaming of valentines day?

i tried to get the water turned on at my house,
but the water company says "no," not until i
have a job and they can verify my employment
with a phone call.

those rooms are calling me. the quiet, the calm,
the candles. my pictures, books, "things." i used
to wander the rooms in the deepest parts of the night,
looking out the windows, trailing my hands along the
walls, sitting on the couch dreaming of something to
keep me alive. i thought i was unhappy there.

no.

i am unhappy here with the voices that always want
something from me: attention, favors, promises i
can't and won't make.

"we need," krys said two days ago, "to put a sign on
the door to this room. it should say, 'glenn and
denise's room.'"

"no," i answered her. "i will not be here forever."

her little face fell. my heart skipped a couple of
beats and wanted to freeze up in my chest.

"but i'm here now." and i hugged her.

we sat for hours looking at graphic pages, looking for
just the right ones to use for her web pages. one day
the dog came in and started to jump on the bed.

"guh, duke," i told him, and krys laughed until she cried.

"guh" is a sound i make in my throat that means, "duh, dummy."

she loved it. she did it over and over and to this day that
sound makes her laugh.

will she always remember it and the time we were together?

denise

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